THIS LIFE COLUMN ARCHIVES
For reprint information, contact the author at joanne@joannebrokaw.com.
Test Your Reality TV IQ
So you think you know your reality TV? Here are the plotlines for both real and fictitious unscripted television shows. Your job is to figure out which shows are (or were) real reality shows and which are the creation of a column writer on a deadline.
The Bats Are Back In Town
Like the swallows making their annual spring return to Capistrano, the bats have returned to the Brokaw household for the summer. We haven’t yet figured out how they’re are coming in, or why they’ve chosen our house to haunt. All we know is that when the calendar says summer, the bats are back in town.
You’ve Been Shopped!
My sister has the greatest job in the world: she’s a member of the Mystery Shopping Police. Usually, I
wouldn’t be able to talk about this without having to kill you afterwards for fear of blowing her cover, but since she lives in another state, I think we’re safe. But be warned: if you let the cat out of the bag, she’s coming after you with a price sticker gun.
Walking Detail
I went for a walk today. Not generally a noteworthy event, I know. But for me? On the list of things I like to do, exercise ranks just below changing the litter box and just above dusting.
Playing The Gender Card
Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers got womens libbers all in a tizzy recently when he suggested that inherent differences between the genders may be one reason women are under-represented in the fields of math and science. Too bad he was right!
But I Can Explain!
It’s the first day of first grade, and clearly I’m a stupid head because I don’t even know my own name.
When Baseball Hits Home
I get a lot of flak for being a Yankees’ fan. One friend constantly refers to them as "the evil empire". (The fact that he's Canadian allows me to laugh off his comments. What do Canadians know about baseball?) Weird, but I guess you either love 'em or you hate 'em. (The Yankees, I mean. Not Canadians.)
Spring Pruning
I got a lesson in life recently from Brian, the young man my husband hired to do some spring yard work: “Sometimes it hurts when you gotta do the right thing.” The “right thing” he’s referring to was his decision to hack a bunch of limbs off of my joyously blooming lilac bush. …
Books I Never Wrote
I’m thinking about writing a book. I feel badly for those poor souls who, when they learn I’m a writer and ask if I’ve ever been published, are disappointed when I tell them that yes, I’ve been published in dozens of magazine and newspapers in the US and Canada. “No book?” they ask hopefully. “No”, I respond, and they quickly change the subject. …
The Unsung Celebrity
He looked like just another fresh-faced, Midwestern college student heading back to classes after spring break. Tall and handsome, dressed in jeans, a hooded sweatshirt and baseball cap, he was surrounded by what could only be his family, gathered together to send him back into the big world. …
When Good Dust Bunnies Go Bad
I think the dust bunnies are planning a takeover.
I saw them today, huddled in the corner, contemplating their next move. But by the time I snuck in to eavesdrop on their conversation, they had scattered to their respective hiding places. …
Nearing 40 and Almost Dead March 2004
In Sunday School recently, four-year old Spencer finished telling me about his upcoming birthday, and then asked how old I would be on my next birthday.
How high can this kid count? I thought …
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